Yeah, I said I won't post new journals on dA and it would be on FA. Well, in fact, it will apply after this post. I don't want all my watchers on FA to see my bad mood: people do live in happiness (well, the majority...), I'd prefer them to stay in happiness.

Anyway. Just to rant here that I feel bad. Like, very, very, very bad. I needed (small quantities of) alcohol in order to sleep. I get very hurting headaches (not related to alcohol at all) all the day. I feel sick and ill at ease as soon as I get up, with potential stomach aches. I'm not hungry at all, too (I've lost 5 kg the past week).

Also, I feel I am surrounded with betrayal. I hardly trust people, now. For reasons I don't know, though, I use Facebook to give people regular news about what's happening in my house. If you go over there, you will see that this betrayal has started with my mother. She used information I told to my aunt, directly to attack me.

We say that dreams can help understand things that happened previously. Well, I know some of my dreams are premonitory (you don't believe in that? Hell, two times, I received the confirmation that, through the kilometers, it works...). And to know that… is frightening.

The dream involved three people: me, my brother, and someone else. We were in my parents' car, traveling. Us three, inside the car, behind (sorry, I don't know the words for it). This someone was doing things to my brother that they were hiding from me as soon as my sight wasn't directed towards the outside of the car (watching through the window) but towards them both.

Betrayal. You have no idea how it hurts, how it does affect you and the people you care about. I wish you it will never happen to you. Because you'll feel like total shit, and your school results will fuck up your whole life if you don't try to fix your problems.

Yush. Life of a young adult who has NO EFFING CLUE about what kind of guy he will become later. *Watches his bank account, US markets, prices for studies, and sighs*. How funny. I've had a first depression late June. Now I have another one, and I've met some new furs thanks to this. Told them deep (and "bad") things about me (like, only Shippo does exactly know them), very easily. Like if I didn't care about my life any more. Geez. If I disappeared, now, what could happen?